January 25, 2014


Assalamualaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa barakatuh to all my Muslim readers and Peace to all my Non-Muslim readers....thank you for coming in and reading my humble blog and hope that the articles I've shared has at least a little bit of benefit to all of you. As you all know that I am a mother of five. My step children are all grown up and three of them have started their own family. My own children have all started to grow up fast does time flies. My five kids are all in the very vulnerable and ever challenging period for parents; teenagers. My eldest twins nineteen and my youngest turning 11 soon.

As parents, we've all been there, being teenager, but yet it is difficult to understand teenager. The reason I could figure out is, we all know, how does teenagers behave. Teenagers, are usually described as aged between 13-19, some say it may start as early as 9 years. These may further differ between male and female and may again differ in different culture. Teenage person are often described as someone on a transition from childhood to adulthood. In other words they wants to be treated as adult, that is being independent, wants to make their own decision and want to run their own life , at the same time they can't provide for themselves or anybody else besides themselves. This is the time they want to do their own thing, partying, fall in love, being recognized by peers and the need to be involved with the latest craze is like being mummified if you do not follow or are reserved about it. At the same time they still depends on their parents, and parents often used this to get to their children.

Photo taken from here

Why is it so difficult for parents to understand their teenage children and why is it so difficult for teenage children to understand their parents.  Normally parents have gone through teenage life and some of us went through it with lots of regrets and wish that they have not done this and that, and wish that they would have listen to their parents. Parents naturally would go all out now to prevent history from repeating itself, thus that's when the conflicts begin. A lot of children resort to running away from home and get themselves into more trouble by doing so.

Photo taken from Google.

Dealing with teenagers are the most challenging period as parent, those adorable, cuddly cute babies of yours has grown up and they won't allow you to cuddle them anymore, especially NOT in front of their friends. What you think, or what you wish for has suddenly all gone wrong.

This is a stage where it would be too late to instill anything. In Islam, we start everything from young. We teach them about God and the hereafter life and that Islam also teaches children to have respect for their parents. The Prophet SAW says, " Heaven is under the feet of your mother", this does not mean literally, it just signifies that children would not enter Heaven if they disrespect their mother.

In the Malay culture, in fact all cultures cultivates their children to be respectful to their parents. Even in the Western country where religion plays an important role in developing character. I remember TV series like, Little House on The Praire, The Waltons...good manners and obedience to parents are valuable virtues. Unfortunately, all those are gone now, unless we go back to cling to our religion virtues.

In spite of all these, children can still become difficult to handle. As parents we MUST practice patience and make lots of Du'a, and at the end of the Day it is all in Allah's "hands"....Tawakkal Alallah.....