May 30, 2013

Polygamy in Malaysia.

A Malaysian Reality TV Imam Muda participants. Imam Muda Hassan.

This is probably the most taboo subject in every marriage. No females in their proper sense  ( what the modern people want to name it) would ever agree to their husband taking another wife. There actually have been lots of Polygamous marriage or relationships, even before the advent of Islam. And this does not happened only in the Arab world. The Chinese, Korean, Japanese and most Kings of
ancient times have more than one bed partners. King Henry VIII had six wives see here Tudor History.

Even though in this modern days, people don't accept polygamy, but men do have affairs and mistresses. Some of them known to their wives. They are quite content to allow their  husbands to do so rather than allowing them to get married and have a share of the inheritance. As Muslims myself in the beginning, could not accept polygamy. It is something that can cause inconsiderable pain. As life goes on, as I read more , as I gain more knowledge and the more I learn ....I have come to realize Polygamy is there not for us to question because as Muslims we hear and we obey. God does not allow certain rulings just for fun, these are actually solutions to a lot of marital problems.

During Prophet Muhammad Sallahu Alaihi Wassalm time, polygamy was necessary as a lot of men died during wars and other circumstances. Women during that time are not like women these days...dinamic, ambitious and independent...those days women needed men to protect and support them. There are also problems with barren wife, descendants and inheritance , polygamy was there to help out in these areas instead of abandoning the first wife, men can take care of both wives.

Liyana Hisham wedding photo. A Malaysian TV Host.
Taken from

Men  should also educate themselves about this issue in order to be fair to every one, the present wife and the future wife. In Malaysia, the Shari'a laws for polygamy are there to protect both parties, the present as well as the future wife. When a man desires to take on another wife he has to go to the court to inform the court of this desire. He would have to fill up forms, which would ask his reason for the  new marriage, and in this form his present wife have to bring down her signature as a consent of agreement to the new marriage and to affirm that her husband is physically, financially and emotionally able to gain another wife.
As a wife, even though I don't have a co wife...whatever Allah plans it is always the best plans. Getting all work up would not help. Be thankful to Allah blessings and sometimes something good would turn out of it as in some marriages, co wives can become best of friends. I am not encouraging Polygamy, its just that when someone is faced with this situation, they should not straight away ask for divorce, instead they should ask to protect their interest first. That is, ask the house that they are living in to be named after her, as well as a car and other benefits deem fit. Be calm, when your husband takes on another wife it does not mean that he does not love you anymore. Sometimes after marrying another wife,certain husbands fell in love more with his first wife...making the second wife feels abandoned.... so husbands must really learn to accept all the changes affected by a second wife.