May 8, 2011

Husbands like Firaun or like Rasulullah.

I am blessed by Allah to raise FOUR, future husbands, fathers and leaders. I pray and hope that everyday Allah will guide me with the best way to raised this future responsibilities. I have seen mothers been blame for raising monsters for husbands. Mothers have been blamed for the behaviour of their sons when their children marriage goes on the rock. Are mothers entirely to be blamed? Don't fathers have a share in every child upbringing too? Don't fathers have to be the Icon or examples to their sons?

Anyway, one can only perform their best in whatever task that has been put forward upon them. After all every good deeds if done purely to seek Allah's pleasure is definitely rewarded. Don't worry Malaikah Raqib and Atid never fails to record all the good deeds and multiplies it by 10  "smile", even if nobody sees what you do, or  appreciate your struggles. ALLAH IS WATCHING ALL THE TIME. of the most vicious man ever. It seems that in one of the lectures I heard, the Shaitan fainted when Firaun declares that he is god. Imagine, even Shaitan did not call themselves god. I know there are a lot of Firaun, but I am specifically referring to the Firaun that ordered to kill all male infants that might grow up to kill him, ironically that infants grew up in his households...Allahu Akbar.

I have a friend, she is from mixed parentage, Chinese and Indian, Roman Catholic. She has one brother and both parents has passed away. She is married to a Malay man and become a Muslim and was blessed with 3 children. When she was pregnant with her third child, her husband, a CEO of a company was posted overseas at that time had an affair with somebody there. She found out about it and started asking him what was going on. It then turns into a big fight, where he bangs her head on the wall, and divorce her with 3 talaq all at once. Last year she lost her eldest son to Leukaemia. So now she is left with 2. Her ex husbands still have a hold upon her especially financially as she was unable to support herself. Humiliation after humiliation continues, and he even sleep in the house even though they are already divorced. I was very upset with the situation and tried whatever I could do even though I know it s not enough because I am trying to keep her in Islam. Unfortunately this causes strain in our friendship and now we are just cordial friends. Who is to blame in this matter? She wanted to remarry only to a man who can "support" her. Can she really tear herself away from this man? What can I do more, as enough is just not enough. This is some of the real marriageS some people are going through. Only when someone seeks Allah's help, then everything will fall into places.....InshaAllah.

I have not met many husbands like Rasulullah...but this is worth mentioning because I can only say what I see. What I cannot see is something else. After I got married , we started visiting relatives of my husbands so that we can properly get acquainted. One day we visited this elderly couple, the children have left the nest. The wife had a stroke, on the day of our visit, from what I heard it has been quite sometime since she had it. She was almost bedridden, she talked with an ununderstandable slurred speech....SubhanAllah...when Allah wants to take away His Nikmah, even talking is a Nikmah which I myself always take for granted....look what happens when Allah take it away. It can be very dissapointing when people don't understand what we are saying isn't it. Before we, that includes me, my hubby, my late mum-in-law, my sis-in-law and her hubby arrive, we bought fish, vegetables and fruits at the nearby sundry shop. When we finally arrive, my mum-in-law and sis-in-law started cooking lunch. Why? because they know that the couple would not be able to serve us, so instead we serve ourselves and them....don't you think this is a very good gestures?

All the housework and the taking care of the wife was done by the husband. He cooks, he cleans the house, he takes her to shower, he changes her clothes, feeds her and practically everything. Don't you want a husband like this? He was by her side till she died a couple of years ago. As I mention in my previous posting "Ku Sangka Panas Hingga Ke Petang, Rupanya Hujan Di Tengah Hari".  We cannot actually choose our husband. Unlike a man they can choose among 3, Beauty, Wealth or Solehah....and Solehah wife is the best to choose. Whichever category your husband is, he is the best that Allah has chosen for you. If you get someone like Firaun, you must be like Asiah...the adopted mother of Prophet Musa AS. And if you are blessed with a husband like Rasululluah then we should be like Khadijah and Aishah.