April 23, 2011

Ku Sangka Panas Hingga Ke Petang, Rupanya Hujan Di Tengah Hari.

Quite a handful for a title...not sure whether to write this in English or Malay. But for the benefit of all...almost everybody can read English so in English it is. The title literary means..I Thought The Sun Would Shine Till Evening, Unfortunately It Rains In The Afternoon. It is a Malay saying meaning, when we hope for something highly we must always be prepared that problems might come halfway. Not to associate rain with mishap, because rain is actually Rahmah from Allah.

Normally this refers to marriage, especially when we are married for a long time. But it can also refer to anything like business or career etc. My writing today is about marriage. If you all have been married for sometimes like me, this year December we would be celebrating our 18th Anniversary.

When I first met my husband, he was a divorcee with 5 kids aged between 5-16 years old. One year after that I had my own twins...and then 3 more within 10 years.I will speak about kids in another topic,,,InshaAllah. Initially life was not easy. after marriage we live in Kubang Kerian, in Kelantan. The kids, my stepchildren lives with their grandmom in Seremban. That is about 8-12 hours drive one way. We visit them almost every alternate weekend. Starting our journey from about 4pm, Thursday (In Kelantan weekend starts on Thursday and Friday) Saturday is first working day of the week. After packing some clothes and food we start our journey, stopping for prayer( Salah) and munch munch.

Normally we will take turns to drive. This goes on until we met with an accident and once we are ok we start again (this trip to Seremban). I was pregnant with my twins when the accident happen. Alhamdulillah with Allah grace not much problem with pregnancy or delivery except for the usuals, inspite being x-rayed, massage, medication and all...All because of Allah's blessings...Alhamdulillah.We didn't have much money too initially....but everything was Alhamdulillah.

When we get married to someone, the person we are married to has been pre destined in Allah's great knowledge. Whether we got married to the one we love or not, its the same. Sometimes after going through a lot of things in marriage, suddenly we felt that we might have married the wrong person. Are we saying that Allah is wrong in marrying us to the wrong person? Actually Allah is very wise in choosing a partner for us. What He chose for us is actually a GIFT. Just like a child that is born by us, they may have come out from the same mother and father and yet they are of different character or maybe abnormal physically . Can  we also say that Allah has made a mistake?

Husbands are also like that, as we go on into our marriage, economy started to improved thats when Allah decides to test us. This is what it means by the RAIN . Rain is actually RAHMAH from Allah. Yes sometimes it can bring disaster like floods and lightening which can cause death, but there are mentioned in the Quran. Shaitan's top of the list or priority list in Shaitan's task is to destroy marriages. If any of them manage to break up a family, they will be promoted. This is because a broken family can lead to a lot of social problems among children especially. This is because children faces trauma and delima with contradicting parents and this will lead to great emotional stress...eventually they might follow the wrong direction to find peace and happiness outside a broken home.

Problems will come and go. Patience and believing in Allah's help without third party and human interventions is the best solution for me personally. When problems comes you will get closer to Allah. If we live free and happy all the time we might slowly forgets about Allah... So it is actually good to have problems...only in this way we will remember Allah's Greatness. Always remember after it rains the sun might shine again till evening.