February 20, 2011

Have I made the right decision?

My eldest sons are twins. Really adorable when they were small. They were identical, but one is smaller than the other. Faiz the older (because, he sees the world first) was 2 kg and Firdaus, the younger was a meagre 1.3 kg. There was one placenta, that is why they were identical, but the umblical cord for Faiz was the size of a thumb, whereas Firdaus was the size of a small finger. Obviosly Faiz was getting all the food and depriving Firdaus. During antenatal checkups Firdaus was not found in the womb (ultrasound), Faiz was huge and hide Firdaus underneath. Doctor insist there was no twins when I complained there was a double kick.They were born early about 5 weeks early. After Faiz came out, doctor finally realize there was another baby. Firdaus had to be scooped out by then, I was already very tired...The doctor was admitted for heart attack few weeks after that (conincidence?)  she survived BTW..

Firdaus was always crying when I visited him. He was in the incubator, with drips, been pricked over and over again because the canula keep dislodging... Faiz was always quite, smiling and contented. I have to ask the nurse if he ever cries..

That was 16 years ago. They're turning 17 this year...Last year after the PMR (Penilaian  Menengah Rendah- Lower Secondary Assessment) results, Firdaus got a place in a boarding school. Faiz did not... they were then separated. They were very closed, played the same game, was in the same badminton and basketball team. Same interest in Nasyeeds, religious activities in school. Firdaus managed to become prefect, but Faiz did not, after a few attempts. We have advised him accordingly.

After the separation, Faiz started to change... he eats a lot, sleep alot, was very unstable. Firdaus was also very stressed up in boarding school, getting thinner and sickier. Have I made the right decision in separating them? I've seen twins achieving good things together...could it be ... I believe everything that happen is in Allah's hand, it has been written, but we human should make wise decisions too before comitting, should I have been more careful?